Assignment: Week6 discussion Resentment

Assignment: Week6 discussion Resentment

Assignment: Week6 discussion Resentment

Week 6 discussion Resentment tears people and organizations apart. A servant leader focuses on leading and not dictating. Explain how you could transform feelings of resentment into a force for leading.

In the role of a leader, it‘s common to have to ask your people to change the way they do things, and even change their attitudes. A great leader and influencer would know just the right way to do so without creating resentment or offending.

Dale Carnegie in his long-standing best seller How to Win Friends and Influence People, explains how this can be done.

His nine principles of how successful leaders can influence their people and change their attitudes and behaviour are astonishingly simple, yet powerful and an eye-opener, whatever your circumstances are.

Start with praise

Carnegie starts by explaining his first principle for doing this right: “Begin with a praise and honest appreciation”.

Everyone loves a compliment. It is easy to get caught up in your fury and disappointment, and forget all the good things about the person you are about to criticise.

However, starting your discussion by stating the good points of the person and drawing attention to areas you are honestly happy with, will encourage the person to take criticism in a more constructive way than they would otherwise.

Compliment him or her for something they are doing well. This will lead the person to feel a sense of pride, that he or she would later on try to maintain by correcting the flaw you are about to talk about.

Take an indirect approach

Carnegie’s second principle is to “call attention to people’s mistakes indirectly”. The word “but”, if used after a sincere praise and followed by a criticism, will most likely make the recipient doubt the sincerity of the praise altogether.

If you replace the word “but” with “and”, this hurdle is easily overcome and the recipient will more receptive of the criticism.

Admit your own mistakes

“Talk about your own mistakes before criticising the other person,” goes Carnegie’s third principle.

The power of admitting your own faults before delving into the faults of the person, is immense.

It humanises you. It makes the recipient realise that you know that no one is perfect and that you’ve made mistakes yourself.

Narrating similar mistakes you made in the past, their consequences and how you overcame them, can lead to the person better understanding their mistakes and taking in tips on how to improve.

Ask questions

“Ask questions instead of giving direct orders.” There is something magical about allowing people to correct their own mistakes, guiding them towards the right path by providing suggestions and ideas, rather than a direct order.

In this scenario, they will have ownership of the change, and they will understand the stakes involved.

No one likes to follow orders – everyone prefers to be given the opportunity to come up with their own ingenious ways of solving problems.

Gentle guidance and direction can therefore yield better results rather than passing down a mere order in the form of “Just do it this way!”

Keep their feelings in mind

“Let the other person save face,” is Carnegie’s fifth principle. We often forget about the importance of others’ feelings.

Letting people feel that they are valued for what they do rather than simply criticising or punishing them for something they have done wrong, goes a long way in making them embrace the advised change.

Instead of firing a person, consider whether you can adjust his or her role according to what they are good at.

That way, you are not alienating a crucial resource for your organisation, and at the same time you are correcting a situation by making space for someone else to take over the initial role the individual was less proficient in.